I have a very glamorous update from my YouTube journey.

It is not going well.

My videos are not being found. They are not being watched. The YouTube algorithm has not lovingly scooped me up in its arms and introduced me to thousands of new best friends. Rude, honestly.

I’m doing the things I’m “supposed” to do.

I’m posting. I’m optimizing titles. I’m thinking about thumbnails. I’m trying to make videos people actually want to watch. I’m showing up like a responsible little bookish content creator with a Canva tab open and a dream.

And still?

Crickets.

But here’s the thing: I committed to doing this for a year, and I’m only one month in. So while I completely understand why people get frustrated and quit, I also have to be realistic.

Because let’s be real. If it were easy to become successful on YouTube in one month, we would all be YouTubers with ring lights permanently set up in our homes.

I’m also not easily impressed by people, myself included, so I have no shame in saying my new videos are not hitting.

That’s the reality.

Not dramatic. Not devastating. Just… data.

Annoying data, but data.

So I’m going to keep plugging away. I’m going to keep doing what I’m supposed to do per Sean Cannell and Think Media, and keep learning, keep adjusting, and reevaluate after a year.

A year.

That’s the deal I made with... myself, I guess.

Do I have a Literary Agent Yet?

And while we’re talking about my public failures, let’s check in on the literary agent situation.

I still don’t have one.

However, I did get feedback from an agent who wants me to rework the beginning of my book so the mystery kicks in sooner.

I’m counting that as a win, because most agents just say some version of, “It’s not the right fit,” or “I didn’t connect with it the way I’d hoped,” which is publishing speak for, “Best of luck, please release me from this email thread.”

But this agent gave me something specific to work on and invited me to send it back when I’m done.

So yes, I will be clinging to that tiny publishing breadcrumb like it is a warm loaf of sourdough made by Taylor Swift in her Kansas City kitchen.

For those keeping track at home, I’ve now pitched 104 agents and received 20 nos.

Which means either I am very persistent, very delusional, or exactly the right amount of both.

Let’s see, do I have any other failures to share?

I think that’s it for now.

So much for the internet being a highlight reel, huh?

Hey, this is what trying something new actually looks like.

It’s awkward. It’s slow. It’s full of tiny humiliations. It rarely looks impressive in the beginning.

And for most people, the hardest part is continuing when there is absolutely no applause.

So, that’s what I’m doing.

So here’s your friendly reminder from someone currently living in the messy middle:

✔️ You are allowed to be bad at something before you get good at it.

✔️ You are allowed to try in public.

✔️ You are allowed to admit something isn’t working without deciding it will never work.

✔️ And you are absolutely allowed to laugh at the whole thing while you keep going.

Now, if you need me, I’ll be over here fighting for my life on YouTube.

If you want to give me a follow and watch my bookish videos, click here.​

Christina